How to Reject a Guy Who Loves You...

How to reject a guy who loves you, he's not a christian not i'm not interested in him, what should i do now to make things right? Should i be friends after rejecting?

Be honest with him and be kind. You could pray for him and invite him to church or other Christian activities. But don't be too close, as it's often the nonChristian who influences the Christian, rather than the other way around. Although it's not easy and it's not nice to hurt someone, it's always best to put God first and obey Him.

Is It Bad To Have A Boy As A Best Friend?

It's not wrong to have friends who are boys. But if you're a teenager or older, it's not wise to have a boy as a best friend. Unless you would want to marry them! I have seen people who have had close guy friends who insisted they were just friends, and now they are married. So often either it turns into a serious relationship and marriage or only one starts to care and it causes a lot of hurt.
So it's best to only have a boy as a best friend if you both have marriage in mind. Remember to pray much about relationships and ask for God's wisdom. He knows the right person for you and can save you unnecessary hurt.

Why is it so important to stay pure until Marriage?

This post isn't to condemn those of you who have already failed in this area.
But it is my earnest prayer that this post would prevent someone from having to learn the hard way why God says to wait until marriage.
Thankfully I don't have to speak from experience. But from what I have heard from others who learned the hard way, I know it's true. By God's grace, I stayed pure and I wish this for every other unmarried girl. You don't have to learn the hard way!

Why is it important?

1) God says so
God has warned us so many times in the Bible. If God says it, it's important! God created us and He knows what is good. He has rules for our good.

2)It saves much regret
No one ever regreted staying pure. Doing right doesn't bring regret!
But from what I've heard over and over from those who've failed in this area, it brings regret that you have to live with for the rest of your life. God forgives and forgets when we repent, but we can't forget!

3)It saves unnecessary complications.
I'm talking here about getting pregnant before you are married. I went to a parenting course where the majority of the mums had children to different dads that they were no longer with. Listening to all the problems each week that this kind of lifestyle brings, I realized just how wise God is and how good the Biblical principles about marriage are. I heard about problems I never would have imagined. So many complications---children having to still see their dads etc. I am so glad I was kept from those problems.

4)Purity is the greatest wedding gift you can give your future husband

5)Once your purity is lost, you can never undo it.
It's permanent. You can be forgiven and put things right as much as you can, but you can't change it. It is a 'permanent marker.'

6)Being a parent is hard work!
Again about getting pregnant. I can't imagine trying to raise my children without my husband! It is hard and you need a husband's support and help. Children need a mum and a dad.

7) It is the 'easy' way
It may be hard to wait, but in the long run it is the easy way. So many people today do it the hard way!

8)It brings no shame
Sin brings shame. When you are married and you get pregnant, it is happy news. There is nothing shameful about it. But when you're not married, it brings you shame because it is a result of sin. If you call yourself a Christian it brings shame to God's name too.

9)It saves guilt
Sin brings guilt. Even when you are forgiven you may still struggle with guilt. Whereas if you wait, there is no need to feel guilty.

10) It brings joy!
How nice it is on your wedding day to know that you waited. You are brand new!

 
 
 
 

Is Dating Wrong?

Is Dating Wrong? (dating Christian guys)

It's not wrong to go on a date with someone. But...I strongly discourage it.
Why?
Here are 9 reasons why I discourage dating.
(By dating, I mean having relationships with guys you have no intention of marrying--Dating for the fun of it. It's different when your purpose is marriage)

1)It's a waste of time

The time spent going on dates could be spent doing something profitable—serving God. Maybe you will learn lessons from broken relationships, but you don't have to learn the hard way! What's the purpose of dating anyway? Is it really using your time wisely?

2)It can lead to doing things you will regret.

Dating can lead to sin.

 

3) Most guys will become someone else's husband.

If you could choose between a guy whose been out with tons of girls and a guy who has waited for the right one, which one would you choose? Which type of girl do you think a good Christian guy would prefer? Do you really want to go out with someone else's future husband?

4) It doesn't prepare you for marriage.

God only has One person for you. If you are used to having lots of relationships before marriage, it will be harder for you to stay faithful to your One man after marriage. What will stop you from leaving when/if you don't feel like loving him anymore? Keep your heart for the one person God has for you.

5)It's really not necessary.

You don't have to date in order to find a husband. God is much bigger than that.

I have never dated anyone other than my husband! It's possible for you to find the right man without going on a single date with anyone else.

Ask God to bring the right person across your path at the right time, and get busy living for God and making the most of your single years.

6)It can bring a lot of hurt.

You might really like someone you date, but that person may not be serious about you and start dating someone else. Surely broken relationships must hurt!

 

7)It's more difficult to stay pure.

Going on dates bring temptation that could be avoided.

8) Once you are married, you will have the rest of your life to date!

You will be able to date your special man as much as you like! Why not wait for that special one?

 A recent date--celebrating our 6th year Wedding Anniversary

9)God created marriage not dating.

God created a wife for Adam not a girlfriend! And He only created one! The right one. The idea of dating many different people is not Biblical. But marriage is.

How should a girl prepare for marriage?

1) Learn skills.
 Cooking, driving, gardening/yard work, looking after children etc.
Cooking is a big one! It's best to learn as much as possible before you are married, as once you are married meal planning becomes a big daily responsibility.
You don't want your husband to be like the newly wed guy who said, "My wife really worships me. She puts before me three burnt offerings every day!" :)


Help!!

2) Learn to keep a tidy room/house.
It's one thing to have a bedroom to keep in order, but it's another thing to have a whole house to look after. It's good to learn to keep your room clean and tidy and then it won't be so overwhelming when you have a whole house. Also, I can assure you, your husband will appreciate coming home to a clean orderly house!

3) Keep your heart for your man.
When you are married, you will have to stay faithful to your man. But if you are used to switching boyfriends regularly and flirting with anyone, how will you stay true to your man? God only has one man for you, so why not keep your heart pure until He shows you the right one?

4) Respect your father and/or any other authority in your life.
If you don't respect your father now, you probably won't respect your husband. Your father has much more experience than your future husband, so if you can't respect your father for his rules, authority and decisions, you won't respect your husband with his little experience/wisdom. Even though he isn't perfect and makes mistakes sometimes, respect him. Your husband won't be perfect either!

5) Learn to be content and thankful.
If you're not happy and fulfilled as a single woman, you won't be content as a wife either. You will not automatically become fulfilled once you are married.

Also, if you learn to be content and not covetous, you will be a big blessing to your husband as you will help save money!

6) Start praying for him.
As a wife, you'll need to pray for your husband that he will make the right decisions as he leads the family. Why not get in the habit now? All young guys need a lot of prayer! Even if you never marry, I don't believe your prayers will be wasted.

7) Make a list of all you want your husband to be, then learn to be that yourself.
It's easy to have expectations and yet not come close to meeting them ourselves. If you learn to be what you want your husband to be, you'll attract the type of husband you want.

8) Learn how guys think.
Males and females think very differently! If you learn how he thinks and what he needs, then you will be a better and happier wife!! Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus is a good book to learn how men think.

9) Study the Bible to see what God says to women.
What does the Bible say about how girls/women should live and act? What does God expect from wives? Why not find out?

Should You Have a List of What You Want Your Future Husband to be?

It's more important to try and be yourself  what you want your future husband to be. Because you will most likely attract someone with the same values as you. For example, if you want a hardworking guy and you're lazy, you won't attract a hardworking guy. If you want a guy who is unselfish, he won't choose you if you are very selfish! If you want a guy who is active in serving God, the guy you're looking for will want a wife who is the same. So I would suggest you write a list, and then apply it to yourself.
It is important to want a good guy. It should matter to you what he is like. But the most important thing is for him to love the Lord and to be honorable. He needs to be someone you can respect.
If I had written a long list of what I wanted my future husband to be, I would have been a bit disappointed or I would still be single!! But my husband loves God and is someone I can respect. That is what's important. God's priorities are often different to ours.
Also, God knows what kind of man you need and what guy needs you. And it's probably different than what you think! :)
Pray for God to give you a husband who loves God and ask God to show you who that one is. There is only one for you! And pray that God will make you into what you want your husband to be.
I heard one pastor say "There are some woman who can't find a man because the man that they're looking for died on the cross and ascended to the right hand of the Father and there's not another one like Him."
There are no perfect guys out there. If there were, none of them would want to marry imperfect females like us!! But there are guys out there who live for God and who are respectable.

Does God have one specific person for you to marry or would any good Christian guy do?

Is there a 'right' one?
If I hadn't believed that God had a specific person for me to marry, I wouldn't have married the man that I did! I wasn't attracted to my husband when I first met him or when he wanted to start a relationship sometime later. I hardly knew him and we didn't live in the same area, so I couldn't really get to know him without starting a relationship. If I hadn't believed that God had a specific person for me, I wouldn't have even thought twice about it. But I knew it was possible that he was the right one for me, so I prayed about it a lot and asked God for wisdom. And after five years of being married, I am so thankful I left the choice to God because He always knows what's best!
So I definitely believe the answer to this question is yes! (If its God's will for you to marry)
But I wasn't sure if I could actually back it up from the Bible.
So I started looking and was surprised at what I found. I read the story of Rebekah and Isaac to see if there were any clues.
In Genesis 24:14 when Abraham's servant was praying about finding a wife for Isaac he said,

And let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say, Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink; and she shall say, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: let the same be she that thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac; and thereby shall I know that thou hast shewed kindness unto my master.

He said the same thing again in verse 44 when he was talking to Rebekah's family.
This servant believed that there was one particular girl who was the right one for Isaac. And it made his job a whole lot easier!! :)
And then if you look at the story of the very first marriage, you see that God created a wife for Adam. He didn't create 10 and give Adam the choice! He created Eve especially for Adam.
God knows what we need far better than we do.
But in saying all that, no guy is perfect! The right one does not mean a perfect one. And it's more important to be the right one yourself!

How do you remain "just friends" with a guy without either ignoring him or getting too close?

It can be difficult to stay 'just friends' with a guy when you're a teen or older! From what I've seen, often either the guy or girl will start to care and will end up getting hurt or they end up getting married! And yet at first they were 'just friends!'
 So I would say it's best to stick to 'girl' friends as much as possible to avoid those complications. It's also good practice for when you're married, because when you're married you have to be careful not to get too friendly with other men. I have heard of a few examples of pastors or leaders having to step down because they got too friendly with another lady that wasn't their wife. They didn't commit adultery, but they were just too friendly and it wasn't appropriate.
Most young guys will become someone's wife one day. Think of how you would want other girls to treat your future husband and treat other guys that way.

I have always found this verse helpful about how to treat guys.

Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren(brothers);

The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity. 1Timothy 5:1-2

You can't ignore guys especially if they attend your church or youth group, but you don't need to unnecessarily make contact with them like texting etc. Just be polite but not too friendly.

So my advice is to think of guys as brothers rather than friends, be polite but not too friendly and try and stick to 'girl' friends!

Is it wrong dating someone who is not a Christian?

My answer is yes!

The Bible doesn't have clear rules on some subjects, but it does give us clear principles to follow.

Here are five principles which I think give us the answer to this question.

1)Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 2Corinthians 6:14

The Bible teaches us very clearly not to be unequally yoked to unbelievers. Why? Because it simply doesn't work. You're both going in different directions. Your closest relationships should be to believers.

Is it Wrong to Touch Before Marriage?

It's not wrong, but it has a danger to it.

Fornication is clearly wrong, and the Biblical advice is...

“Flee fornication...” 1 Corinthians 6:18

Here are two quotes I've heard that I think are good advice.

He who keeps off the ice will not slip.

He who wants to keep from harm must keep out of harm's way.

That's the safest way.

If all couples didn't touch till after marriage, there would be a lot less problems! Touching before marriage can make the temptation stronger. Also, until you're married there's always a possibility that something will happen to break the relationship.

Where does the Bible say that living together when not married is wrong?

 I honestly only found the answer to this question a few months ago! 
I remember talking to a friend once. She was telling me a story about a young guy from overseas who had stayed with them. He told them that when he went back home he was going to live with his girlfriend. My friend said to him, "Has anyone ever showed you from the Bible that it's wrong?" She showed him and as a result he got married instead.
When she told me that, I thought and nearly asked, "How did you show him it was wrong? Where in the Bible does it say that?"